


Thalia's Story

by ThaliaSummers



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, deals with mental illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8420284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThaliaSummers/pseuds/ThaliaSummers
Summary: Unfinished and still needs some editing, sorry!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Unfinished and still needs some editing, sorry!

I pace the inside of the Poseidon cabin, tears running down my face. "Why is it that I'm always breaking apart when he's around?! Because then I want to go to him for a hug, and then, obviously, I can't because of Ace and that, but I don't want to go to anyone els... ARGH!" I slump down on my bunk in frustration just as my half-brother walks in.

"Um, Tal? You ok?" Percy asks me, looking around and finally spotting me sitting on my bunk.

I quickly wipe my eyes. "I'm fine," I say with a smile, even though I'm the exact opposite of 'fine'.

Percy raises his eyebrows. "Could've sworn I heard yelling in here..." he says, looking down at me with concern.

I shrug and say reassuringly, "No really, I'm fine."

"Ok then. I'm just worried for you, that's all." Percy leaves the room, seemingly convinced.

"Isn't everyone?" I mutter after him. I'm strange for a demigod, for the fact that I don't have dyslexia or ADHD. Instead, though I haven't told many people, I have severe depression and anxiety. As well as a heap of allergies. I flop down on my bed, feeling awful and take out my old DS Lite. I've had it since I was eight years old, and, though I'm technically not supposed to have it, it doesn't use Internet, so no one's picked up on it. I quickly flick over to Pictochat; that's literally all I use it for now. 'Alex' seems to be on. I've never understood why Kit likes to go by that name. 'Hey, whatcha doin?' I type up and wait for a response, biting my lip for my mental pain tolerance.

The response comes quickly. 'Nothing much you?'

I roll my eyes and groan inwardly. Yeah, nothing much at all. 'I feel like crap. I'm breaking down. Other than that, not much else.' How's he going to respond to that? I wonder. He's the only guy who knows a lot about my depression. I mean, my other friends are cool, and I've told them about it, but I pretty much have told Kit everything.

'Yeah I wondered when you we're with me in class. Are you ok?' If only he knew. Without me having to tell him. But, as that can't happen, I type up a response, ignoring the occasional grammar error.

'No. I'm nowhere near ok. I felt like grabbing my scissors in class today, it was that bad.'

I can almost hear a sharp intake of breath from the other side of the screen. 'Tal... That isn't good. I know how you feel though. You have a free soon?'

I sigh. 'No, I don't. I probably won't see you until dinner. Unless you have sword fighting, forges or wall climbing next.'

'I have forges but nobody can talk then cuz it's to loud. There's the campfire tonight and then free time for half an hour afterwards.' Ok, I'll remember that. I'll try to find Kit in the forges. And try to avoid Percy, because... Well, he doesn't really know much about everything.

I bite my lip harder, wondering how he's going to respond to this. 'Kit?'

'Yeah?'

'I... Well, today when we were with Ace, you know how I was feeling really bad then because of something that Chiron accidentally said?'

'Yeah?'

'Well... This is weird, but I really wanted to hug you.' I start fidgeting madly, hoping he won't shun me.

'No I understand but if you want a hug you can just ask :)' I breath a sigh of relief.

'I kinda couldn't. I mean, Ace was there, and you know what he's like...'

'We'll that's just him isn't it?'

'Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't need to tell me.'

'Ok, gotta go, people are around byeee Tal' And with that, 'Alex' is gone. I chuck my DS under the sheets and lie back down on my bed. I wish things didn't have to be this way. I wish I didn't have to be this awful. I wish this could end. I wish... And that was the conch that tells you it's next lesson. Great. Sword fighting with the Athena group, from the way Percy's walked back in and is muttering. He's head over heals for Annabeth who's in that cabin... Surprising, really, that he hasn't proposed. I guess he has to wait until he's 18. I walk out of the cabin, picking up my sword on the way.

At least I'm decent at sword fighting. I mean, Percy has trained me in a few frees, but I actually am half-decent already. Kids used to talk about how quick I was with a blade and thought it was stupid I wasn't in the Ares or Athena cabin. I remember the taunts. 'You could've been great under Ares, but no. Poseidon's kid. Ha! You can't even do anything with the water!' If only they had known. Actually, then they would've taunted me about that, too.

'You're smart enough that Athena probably would've taken you, and you'd be ok with a knife. It's like you're an inbetweener, really, not quite Poseidon, not quite Athena, not quite Ares.'

They hadn't meant any harm by it, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. I am Poseidon's child! I also have Percy for a brother, who is a very typical kid of Poseidon. Heroic, awesome at controlling water, cool, calm, outwardly collected, has a girlfriend and has saved the world. Multiple times. Me? I'm just the quiet kid in his shadow, nowhere near as good and never what Dad wanted. He wanted another hero child, surely, cuz, I mean, Zeus has two, why not Dad too? Instead he got me, who's more like Ares had a kid with Athena and Aphrodite gave me a blessing. I'm ready to punch someone up if they insult me, and I'm ready to whack them up with a sword. But I'm smart and pick my fights, never taking attack with no reason. I have brains and strategy in amounts too. However... The way I'm technically Poseidon's kid comes down to what would more likely be called 'Aphrodite's Blessing'. See... I can control salt water. But not massive amounts like Percy. Tears. That's why it looks like I never cry, not because I don't, but because I can take the tears from my eyes and pretend they were never there. And don't get me wrong, it's actually a really dangerous weapon - I could suffocate someone from the inside - but still. You'd think he could've given me something better than that. These are my thoughts as I'm walking up to the forges.

Nothing interesting happens until after dinner. Dinner is the regular, sitting silently next to Percy and Tyson as they chat about Dad's kingdom, shrinking into myself. I catch Kit's eye once and he smiles at me. Other than that, I hardly touch my food (having thrown more than half of it in the fire to start with) and keep to myself. We quickly head down to the campfire, most people shouting, laughing and chatting loudly. I hear over the chatter a voice saying "You aren't heading over to that Poseidon chick again? If she was our sister, you two wouldn't be dating." Less than half a minute later, I hear a grunt of pain from the same area.

I smile slightly. "Serves you right, Jamie," I mutter. Soon, Kit comes into view. He rolls his eyes, knowing I heard the conversation. My mouth twitches into a slight smile, but not much.

"Tal, don't listen to her, you know she can't guard her mouth," he tells me.

I roll my eyes. "But you know she speaks her mind. You also know people agree with her." I swallow slightly. Kit looks around quickly and puts an arm around my shoulders. I sigh miserably and we keep walking. I hang around the back of the amphitheatre, sitting at the very back. Kit looks down at me and sits down beside me. Ace finds us and so does Aleisha. They sit down next to us and we all look down to the stage where Apollo's kids have set up their stuff. Some of the songs, like the ones about the gods blessing us all, make me want to curl up in a ball and cry, but instead, I stand there rigidly, not saying a word, my nails digging into my skin, thinking of Percy and Dad and how much others are blessed and how the gods have favourites and...

"Tal!" Kit hisses at me. I break out of my thoughts and look down at my nails, which are strong and claw-like. They've pierced my skin and I didn't even noticed. A slight trickle of blood slips down my hand. I feel satisfaction, but I also feel fear. I look at Kit, frightened and scared. He looks back at me, seemingly unsure of what to do. I remain standing frigidly, staring into space with my wrist over my mouth. When we sit down, I do it automatically, still in shock that I did that without noticing.

We're let go for half an hour before bed, and Kit instantly takes me out to the edge of the forest. "Thalia, this is serious. Did you even know you did that?"

I steady my breathing, willing myself not to dissolve into tears. "No. I didn't feel a thing," I whisper hoarsely. I show him the cuts. They aren't deep, but they aren't good. Kit looks down at them.

"Tal?"

"Yeah?" I manage to force out.

"What were you thinking about?" I grit my teeth and wipe my forehead, removing the tears from my eyes. "Thalia, I'm not stupid, I've seen you do that so many times before. You can cry around me." It's no use trying to keep it in now. Tears stream down my face, my chest racks with sobs. He looks down at me gently. "Do you need a hug?" I nod shakily, stretching out my arms and he pulls me into him. I sob against his shirt and he just holds me. Eventually, my sobs let up and I'm able to stand upright again. The front of his shirt is tear-stained and wet. I look up at his face. I wonder if he's been crying or not. He's one of the only people who know my power with tears. I slide my hand lightly over his shirt and the entire thing becomes dry. I quickly swipe a hand over my face for the same reasons.

"I- I'm sorry..." I mumble shakily.

"Don't be, it's fine. I understand."

I sniff. "For that, I could kiss you right now," I mutter, almost bitterly.

He clears his throat slightly awkwardly. "We should get back to the camp, me first, you second after I'm back so it doesn't look suspicious."

I shakily breath in. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's ok, but I have to get back. Good night Thalia, and have a good sleep. Do you have any sharp objects near your bed?" he adds, uncertainly. I instantly think of my sword and my fighting knife at the end of my bed, but just as quickly of the small, sharp knife I keep within arm's reach of my bed. The sharp pair of nail scissors there disappeared a little while back, and that's when I got the knife. There's also a little set of sharp little knives on the other side of the room...

"No, nothing," I say, looking him honestly in the eye. "Well, other than my sword, but, you know, that's not a major danger." He pauses a moment. Maybe he saw the slightest hint of a lie in my eyes.

"Ok, good night, Tal."

"Night Kit, sweet dreams." He gives me one last glance over his shoulder, and disappears through the trees. I look down at my wrists. The clot that's forming over the scratches is quickly scratched away, the blood flowing again. I watch it, mulling over the fact that I don't want to give up the knife that's hurt me before. After watching the blood and thinking over this for about five minutes, I soak it in salt water from my own tears. It stings and I'm brought back to focus. I place my hand over it and start heading back.

~

"Thalia, you alright?" asks Percy, as I enter the cabin.

"Yeah, you?" I lie flawlessly.

He shrugs. "Not bad. Hey, Annabeth just came in before. She wondered whether you were ok, saw you head straight to the forest." He raises an eyebrow. "Said you headed off with Kit. True?" He seems to be relaxed. Seems. I know he's on edge and wondering.

"It's ok, Dad, he's helping me through some stuff," I say sarcastically.

"What kind of 'stuff', Thalia? And I'm not your Dad." I roll my eyes.

"Stop acting it, then."

He ignores my comment. "Are you two in a re-"

"No." I cut him off flatly.

"Ok, ok. Don't mind me. I'm just concerned for you. Good night, sis."

"Night," I say unfeelingly. It takes me forever and a half to get to sleep. I can't stop thinking about the little knife, Kit, my failures, how Kit can even cope with me, how terrible I'm feeling and so on. I take the tablets that actually help my body go to sleep. And then it's back to tossing and turning in my sheets, being thoroughly annoyed by both of my brothers' snoring. Eventually, I drift into a poor excuse for sleep.

I feel my subconscious wake moments before the conch shell sounds to wake us all up for breakfast. It seems Percy's only just woken up, as he staggers around the cabin, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Tyson's still asleep and Percy staggers over to wake him up. I sit up and swing my legs out of bed, unhappy about the idea of having to get up. Today, I can't even give a stuff about what I look like. I throw on my camp T-shirt and a pair of shorts, and, not even bothering to brush my bed hair, or even look in the mirror, I walk out of the cabin, picking up my sword and my fighting knife on the way. Other campers are emerging from their cabins, but they're all decently neat and tidy. I'm sure I look like a rat's nest is sitting on top of my head, but I couldn't care less.

Instead of going to breakfast, I sneak off quietly to a secluded spot in the forest next to the river. I don't really want to be around people. I play with the water as it darts quickly between my fingers. It reminds me how quickly my joy and passion is slipping through my fingers. I'd written a song not so long ago about that. I don't mind a bit of music, and don't have a bad voice, but I hardly ever sing. And even though I used to love music about as much as I love the water, the passion isn't there any more. I half-sing the chorus. "I tighten my grip, but the sand just slips away faster, Seems the pain in my soul's gonna be an everlaster. Minutes tick by, hours they fade, another day goes by, People they say, you'll find a way, you just gotta try. Nothing works, it hurts, Oh the misunderstanding." My voice trails off as I slip my fingers deeper into the water. I sit there and get the sudden urge to slip my shoes off and stand in the middle of the river. So I follow my impulse. I walk out into the current, much to the surprise of three naiads sitting on the rocks. I wade out; the water is much deeper than I thought it would be, it's reaching over my shorts. I'm getting more impulses by the second, but one that stands out among the others; go for a swim, leave your shirt on the bank and swim. I quickly slip the shirt over my head and dive under. I feel amazing as soon as I do. I don't get rejuvenated by water like my brother and I can't control it either. But I can breath under the surface and go deep down, like every child of Poseidon. And I can swim decently too. It's one of my only pleasures left in life. I slice through the water and the naiads murmur among themselves, in a watery language I can understand. To be honest, I haven't asked Percy if he can understand naiad dialect. Maybe that's something he can't do. Unless they're speaking English, of course. Soon, one of them joins me, both of us tumbling through the water as though we were born of it, which, in a way, we both are.

I don't know how long I spend in there, but it must've been quite a while, because when I resurface from the water I can see Kit and Ace standing on the bank, looking up and down the river. Crud. Of course I followed the impulse of 'leave your shirt behind'. Well, here goes nothing. I swim up to the two of them and they look down in shock and relief. "Thank the gods we found you!" Kit cries. I notice Ace makes the bad choice of looking further than my face and instantly looks completely over my head into the distance. Kit, however, doesn't seem to have noticed. Until, of course, I swim over to edge of the river and have to stand up. He takes one glance at me and looks away, blushing. I smirk slightly and walk the other way to get my shirt. As I walk, I feel certain that Kit's eyes are actually watching me. The thought makes my stomach flip over. When I put the shirt back on, I turn around to find Ace still staring rigidly out into the forest and Kit still blushing, not entirely sure where to look.

"So... Were you guys looking for me?" Kit won't meet my eye, blushing furiously. He was looking at me before, I know it. I flush slightly.

"Uh, yeah. You ok?" he asks, not looking me in the eye and running a hand through his hair.

Ace suddenly seems to come back to life. "Guys, we need to get to class!" he bursts out.

I look over at him. "What time is it? And since when did you care about class?"

"Class time," Ace says, slightly annoyed. "And it's your," he points an accusing finger at both Kit and I, "fault I'm late for the forges."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, right, forges. Fine, I'm sorry, ok? Now let's go. I've got... I think it's Greek? But I really don't give."

Ace races off. Kit turns and looks me in the face for the first time that morning. "Um... Well, good morning," he says, and turns off to go to archery; I know cuz of the bow on his back. I have Greek, but I'm going fine at it and really, what's the point in going anyway? I'll just have Percy outdo me again. And again. And again... I wish it didn't have to be this way. Dad must hate me.

I wander the direct opposite way to the direction I should be going; I head back to the cabins. I pull out a pencil and a sheet of paper and heave a sigh, staring at the blank page in front of me, seeing if something will show itself to me. Nothing. I draw a single dot in the almost middle of the paper. Instantly, my mind is flooded with visions of patterns and swirls, but most of all, an open flower. I start to draw the large petals from the centre, but as I do, I see angel wings forming in front of my eyes. I draw up what I imagine, seeing the body form within about 10 minutes. I think of a shyly beautiful angel, but that dot... That dot in the centre isn't rubbing out. It stubbornly stays, off centre, what's more, on the white dress. Well, grey patterns it is, then. I see the opportunity to draw the angel herself again on the bodice, but the skirt? Hmm... I search my emotions and find only sadness. So that's what I start drawing on the skirt, crying and tearful faces. After a little bit, I suddenly get a jolt, as I hear the conch blowing to get ready for next lesson. Which is... Sword fighting, I believe. I pick up my long sword, fighting knife, and, just cuz I felt like it, one of the little knives from the set I got for my birthday on the other side of the room. I walk out and turn my back, just as Percy walks in. "Tal?!" I hear him call out worriedly. I have a mental argument as whether to sneak off, or let him know I'm here. I finally tap him on the shoulder. He looks around and sees me. "Thalia!!!! There you are!! Why weren't you at breakfast and lesson one?!?!" he asks, worried as heck.

"Cuz, I got lost in the forest," I say with a convincing grin, knowing all along how close to the truth it was, even if it was just a throw away saying between us.

Percy rolls his eyes. "Tal, really, where were you?"

I sigh, knowing that a) I can't tell the full truth, and b) that he wouldn't believe it anyway. "I was up here the whole time. I left and then came back." I shrug when Percy looks at me, confused. "I know I shouldn't have, but yeah. That's where I was." Percy opens his mouth to reprimand me, at the least, but the conch blows before he can say anything, and I skip off to sword fighting. I plan on playing dirty.

When I get there, I'm surprised to see Kit here, waiting around for the lesson to start. He waves at me and I look questioningly back. He shrugs and basically shows me that he hasn't got a clue why he's here too. Percy gets up to show us how useful the element of surprise is, which is awesome, because that's how I was going to play anyway. As per usual, he picks out a victim to show the move. He decides Kit looks like a good target, and promptly shows us how, because he was off his guard, he was easily smacked around. Kit picks up his sword quick enough, though, and soon he and Percy are battling back and forth a bit, thrusting, parrying and feinting, Percy commenting to everyone the entire time, and pull out little tricks here and there that keep Kit in the unclear zone. Eventually, Percy disarms him, which we all kinda figured he would in the end. "Pair up!" he calls out. "Thalia, I'll go with you." He glances quickly over at Kit, which I'm slightly taken aback by. But I keep this information to myself. I stick my small knife into an inside pocket of my shorts, along with my knife at my waist. I step up to Percy who nods curtly, taking in the fact I have the sword by my left side, and my right hand free to make a quick and sudden movement. He turns around to face everyone. "We aren't doing style as much as we are surprising, trying to catch our opponent off guard. And... Go!"

He whirls around to face me, sword out instantly and swung at me. I jump backwards, my mind racing. I haven't even pulled out my sword yet. I take a stance. Percy looks at me like I've done something extremely weird. But I know I haven't. He comes at me with sword raised and I quickly run and slide underneath him, pulling out my sword. Percy looks down at me and smiles a smile that says 'now you're talking', which is exactly what I want if I'm to follow the instructions. I battle furiously with Percy, the swords clashing and flying quickly. I pull out my knife, and things get even more serious. Doesn't help that his sword was a magical gift. I put this thought to the back of my mind and go into split screen mode in my brain, one side telling me what's happening, the other telling me what needs to happen to get the end result. Finally an opportunity comes to me. As I'm not exactly tall, I don't get hit as easily since the natural swing often goes over my head. Makes it easier to get under someone's guard, too. I slip past his guard quickly, using the small knife that I've flicked out to lightly cut Percy's sword hand. He jerks as I flick it up his wrist as well. I quickly disarm him with my knife, slinging my sword back away as I put the knife point to his jugular. I can see my brother's quickened pulse. I put the small knife away extremely discreetly; no one else even saw I had it.

Someone looks up at what's happening with me and Percy. "Hey Percy, did your little sister disarm you?" he asks, wide eyes with a grin, thinking he was making a marvellous a joke. I move the knife point away from his jugular and Percy starts breathing properly again.

"Yup. I just got ousted by my sister," he chuckles. The guy who spoke looks at him incredulously. Percy laughs. "Do you wanna try fight her?"

The guy lifts up his chin. "Sure, I'll take her on." Percy calls a halt.

"Guys, come in. We're gonna have a special battle between Thalia and Greg here. And may I say that another great way of surprising opposition is an act. And... Well, let's see if she does it without me even saying anything." I know what Percy means, and that's what I plan to do. "And... Go!" He lunges forwards at me and I make a clumsy block. I wink quickly at Percy as I circle around Greg. I draw my sword up to eye level. His eyes on the point of the sword, I get out my little knife, so nobody can see it. He starts actually striking at me now, and I get a feel for his play style. He leaves most of his left side exposed; presumably he's used to fighting with a shield. His sword strokes aren't the best, either. More clumsy, heavy and forced than Percy's. Gradually, I pull the mask off, until I'm furiously fighting him with fighting knife and sword. I throw the little knife down suddenly, and he jumps, not quite understanding. In the moment of confusion, I disarm him easily, giving him a whack around with the flat of the sword in the meantime. Kit cracks up. It's one of the only sounds across the classroom. Everyone is just staring at me.

I stop hitting Greg, and pick up my knife. "Any other challengers?" I ask softly.

"Why aren't you a daughter of Ares?" someone in the crowd mutters. I whirl around to face him.

"Say it to my face!" I growl. Percy watches me to see how I take this all. He raises an eyebrow.

"So do you want to take her challenge?" I stand there and look down.

"Who's the best fighter here?" the same voice asks.

"Percy, obviously," says Greg, glaring at me. I smile slightly with my head down.

"Then she should fight him," the anonymous person says. Percy laughs.

"She already has."

"Bet you a drachma she lost," the same guy mutters.

"Then pay up, cuz I lost," Percy looks down at the guy.

"Rematch," I say. Percy looks at me in shock.

"You beat me, and yet you want a rematch?! What?"

"You heard me. A rematch," I say again. Percy looks at me in utter shock still.

"Tal, um... You sure?" I whip out my sword and strike at him with the flat of it.

"You're unprepared," I say, smacking him around at least five times before he realises I'm serious and he raises his sword. "Thank you. And... Go!" I say triumphantly. Everyone is watching us in dead silence. Metal against metal, that's all you can hear. I rip out my fighting knife and I start battling harder than ever, almost anticipating the moves. I suddenly jerk backwards and drop to the ground on my knees.

"Tal, you o-" Percy's question is cut off by my knife flying past his face at high speed, less than a centimetre from hitting him. He pauses for a moment of shock, but within that moment, I've disarmed him and I throw my body weight against him. In the shock of being disarmed so easily, he goes down fairly quickly. I put my sword point at his jugular and smile.

"Seems I'm good at playing dirty," I say with a smirk, getting off him. Kit tries to keep himself from laughing, and manages to, but what with the reaction on people's faces and the shocked silence, I'm surprised he succeeded. The conch blows and I sling my sword back into its scabbed. I raise an eyebrow at Kit and he smirks. "See you after lunch," I mutter, knowing I have canoeing with a heap of Ares kids after break.

"I guess so Tal." He runs up after me a bit before I head off to get my stuff for next lesson. "Hey, Thalia, do you know why Percy glared at me before he claimed he was going with you?" I glance uneasily at him.

"I'm not sure. I noticed it, alright, but not sure why. I..." I take a breath. "I wonder if he thinks you want to start up, well, a relationship with me." I roll my eyes. "He's trying to be my dad. Ugh."

Kit chuckles. "Well, he isn't doing a great job. Anyway, see you around."

I raise my eyebrows slightly. "Yup. Later." And I walk off to my cabin to fetch my stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

Lessons drag on forever. The main thing that happens throughout the entire rest of the day is that Clarisse tips her canoe when trying to run a fellow classmate through with a paddle. She ended up sopping wet in the river and I had to pretend to cough to hide my snickering. Nothing really happens until the campfire. No major announcements, no new campers, no claimings, it seems nothing is really going on. Instead of singing the stupid songs, I stare at the campfire rigidly, concentrating on the general emotional output of the campers. The flames are fairly low and are a general orangey-yellow. This basically means no real mood is being put out and a heap of people are kinda bored. I look around at everyone having fun and wonder why it isn't having such an input to the flames. Then I look to how I'm feeling. I feel broken and hurt, with no self-esteem. I wonder if I can change the flames purely by my own emotional aura. Kit looks over at me curiously; I can see him out of the corner of my eye. I stare at the fire, feeling my hurt, pain and sorrow most acutely. Slowly, and almost imperceptibly, the flame drops in colour and height. It turns a dull red and almost drops so I can't see it from the back. By the time it's noticed, people are cheering and stuff, trying to bring it back up to its original height. But I set my will against theirs. Kit looks over at me. He knows I'm doing something. I glare at the flames, feeling angry now that so many people are against me. I can feel a bit of anger radiating from Kit, too. The flame shoots up in an angry red jet of fire, and everyone quiets down and looks at it, scared. I stop trying to control it, and it settles back to a slightly sickly green-golden colour and to a much smaller size. Chiron stands up, tapping his hooves nervously against the ground. "Does anyone have any idea of what happened then? If so, speak now, for this is most alarming."

I roll my eyes inwardly, knowing that someone will say it's impossible that I could've done it. I stand up. "I know," I say over the hushed amphitheatre. "Because I did it." There's a pause. Then someone laughs.

"What, the daughter of Poseidon controlling fire and emotion?" My head whips around to the voice. Oh. It's Drew.

"Yes. And I can demonstrate right now if you like."

"Ok... Make the fire turn green with pink spots all through it," she says, smirking and chuckling as if she's made a wonderful joke. Only thing is, even without the Charmspeak, people laugh along with her. I glare at her.

"Do you want to see this column shoot 10 metres high, sparking red flames?!" I yell at her.

She smirks. "Go ahead, honey, I'm sure it will be a wonderful little candle."

I can't take it. I can also feel Kit getting extremely mad beside me. I let loose my rage and the fire shoots up at least 10 metres, if not more. "How long can you stand the heat?!" I yell.

Drew looks calmly at me, seemingly unfazed. "Nice try, honey, but it takes more than fire to scare me." I can hear the Charmspeak in her voice. And find myself agreeing slightly, slam my foot down, break the Charmspeak, and do something I promised myself I would never do. I use my power. I strike at her with my hand and feel the power rise inside me. Kit and Ace look at me, absolutely terrified. They both know I have some power, but not the extent. As I thrust my hand in Drew's direction, she doubles over and her chest heaves with sobs. There are a couple nervous laughs. I move my hand in a sudden upwards movement and she jerks up in panic. Why? She can't breathe. Tears literally clog up her throat. Choking and spluttering, she's bent over and everyone watches her in silence and pure horror. Many people are looking at me as well, but I don't care. Drew will pay.

Kit suddenly jumps up and pins my arms to my side. We crash down on the floor of the amphitheatre. Drew stops choking and everyone runs over to her. "Thalia Summers!" he hisses, tears almost in his eyes. "You can't kill her! I can't let you go anymore..." He's almost lying on top of me, my arms locked at my sides by his strong grip.

I suddenly jolt in shock; I feel absolutely sick. I look, scared, back into Kit's tearful face. I wipe a trembling hand over his eyes and he blinks in surprise. I've removed his tears... I swallow. "I never meant to do that... Ever," I murmur almost inaudibly.

"Thalia, you're shaking... That... I..." He looks into my terrified eyes. He gets up and pulls me up with him. I'm still trembling and everyone is still in uproar about Drew. In my head, I can hear everyone deciding how to punish me, torture me and hurt me for what I've done. I look around the amphitheatre quickly in terror, and run to the forests.

~

I pace up and down next to the river, trying to keep myself together like I have for the past year. I hear footsteps running behind me and hear my brother's voice crying, "I think she went this way!" I run as fast and hard as I can, my fighting knife in my hand. I hear the footsteps fade in the distance. I climb a tree and vow not to come back down until dawn. I huddle up in the branches and leaves and shake softly, taking tears out of my eyes regularly. I curl up in a tight ball, and try to forget the horrible scene playing before my eyes; Drew's death, had Kit not stopped me. It's impossible. It plays over and over again, each time the punishment more horrid than the last. I'm shaking and shivering, but eventually, I freeze and sleep out of pure exhaustion.

Next morning, I'm woken by the sun rising and quickly hear the sound of dragging footsteps and a hoarse cry of my name. I unfurl myself and feel completely stiff, sore and achy. I look down the tree in slight curiosity to see an absolutely exhausted Kit looking up at me. "Thalia!!" he yells as loudly as he can, and then sighs, seemingly wondering if I'll ever respond.

"I'm up here, Kit," I say quietly.

"Thalia!" Kit's head whirls around and his eyes go from exhausted and desolate to alive and joyous. "Come down, please?" he asks.

I curl up further into the tree. "What's gonna happen if I come down?" I mutter quietly.

"Oh, Tal... Please... Come down here, at least? For me?" He's almost begging, I can hear it slightly in his voice. I look down at him through the leaves. I can feel tears creeping into my eyes. I quickly remove them.

"Fine," I mutter, slightly bitterly. I climb down, struggling a little because I'm so stiff and sore and haven't climbed a tree in quite a while, let alone slept in one. When my feet touch the ground, Kit jogs over to me and wraps me in a hug.

"Thalia, I thought I'd lost you..." he murmurs.

"Why would that matter to you?" I mutter. He looks at me. "Uh... I, um..." He looks away from me. "I… Uh…. I think I love you......." he murmurs. My stomach flips. I, and I'm almost ashamed to admit it now, had been thinking along these lines for about a week now... I didn't want to bring it up and be hurt by someone else as well. But I can't hide forever.

"Why should that make a difference?" I murmur quietly, feeling the tears come to engulf me again.

He pulls away from me and looks me directly in the eye. "Thalia. Last night, when you ran, Percy, Annabeth, Tyson, Aleisha, Ace and me were out looking for you. We were afraid for you."

"I know, I heard you guys and I ran."

He shakes his head sadly. "We couldn't find you. Percy didn't want to give up, but Annabeth forced him to. Ace and Aleisha were forced to go back as well as Tyson. So was I. But I snuck back out and have been searching all night. Thalia, do you understand?!"

I look away. "Yeah... I do..." I say quietly, wondering if I can quickly take the tears away without him stopping me. I wipe my face, as if still waking up, but he shakes his head.

"Don't." I struggle within myself, trying to force my tears to not come. He's still looking at me, shaking his head, his eyes holding a look of anguish at seeing me like this. "Thalia..." he whispers, looking at me directly in the eye. I can't take it, I wrap my arms around him and start crying, absolutely sobbing. His arms wrap around me lovingly and I feel a slight jolt of my heart. My mind whispers to me, 'You know you actually love him... You know it,' and the thing that makes me tremble slightly and cry all the more, is that these thoughts terrify me about as much as the idea that I almost killed someone.

He pulls away. "Thalia, you need to go back. You know you can't stay out here."

I look up tearfully into his face. "I don't... I, I can't face them... Please, I can't go back..." I'm staring him in the eye, feeling helpless and begging him.

"Thalia, you have to."

"Please Kit..." I whisper. "I can't."

"Tal..."

"I can't!" I yell.

A crash sound comes through the bush. "THALIA!" I hear a voice sound. It's my brother, Percy. Moments later, he yells, "KIT!" but it sounds slightly louder. He's getting closer.

Kit yells out to him in a hoarse voice. "Percy!! I found her!!" I start to back away into the trees behind me, shaking my head in terror. He looks back at me sadly, putting a hand on my trembling shoulder. "Tal... It has to be like this."

"Why Kit?" I whisper hoarsely, tears filling my eyes until I take them out. "Why?"

"Thalia... We care."

"Care?"

"I, uh, he, I mean, we love you." I turn away and start running. Kit crashes after me and grabs my arm firmly. I struggle and wrestle, actually using my talon-like nails to try to make him let go. He grips my other wrist and twists it. "Thalia, stop!" he yells in my face. I freeze, and in the silence, a tear rolls down my face and I can hear Percy getting closer as he thrashes through the bush.

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" he yells, closer still.

"We're here!" Kit yells back.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" he yells as he crashes nearer. I want to steal away into the shadows.

“No…” I whisper, tears filling my eyes. Kit comes closer to me and puts an arm around my shoulders.

Suddenly, the crashing stops and I can see Percy looking dishevelled, in a mix of pyjamas and battle gear, and worried. He looks over at me. “Oh my gods Thalia…” And he runs over, shoving Kit aside and grabbing me in a hug. I flinch and look over at Kit. I don’t feel at all comfortable. “We thought we’d lost you for sure. And the same goes for you,” Percy says sternly, pulling away from me and rounding on Kit. “But you should’ve been asleep, not roaming the woods.” I turn to look at Kit properly from behind my fringe.

He’s full on glaring at Percy. “I was searching for Thalia. Am I the only here who defies rules for a friend?” Percy looks slightly taken aback by this answer. He and Kit seem to be trying to bore into the other.

After a silent battle, Percy heaves a sigh. “You have my fatal flaw.” I look sharply at Percy. He doesn’t normally change so quickly. Kit looks at him, understanding little.

“I’m sorry, fatal flaw?”

“Yup. Fatal flaw. The thing that will probably lead you to your death.”

“Oh. So… If I’ve got the same one as you, what’s yours?” Kit asks.

“I will go to any lengths for my friends. So, loyalty, protectiveness, whatever you want to call it. Same as Thalia, but she’s also too trusting, and gets broken easily by it.” I press my lips together and look at the ground. I've been abandoned so many times before.

Kit looks from me to Percy. “It doesn’t make her any less,” he murmurs slowly, his tone clipped with an edge of a razor. “But isn’t protecting your friends good?”

“Not when you’ll forfeit the entire world for it.”

“Oh.”

I feel my knees give way slightly and I fall to the ground. They both rush over to me. “Thalia!” I hear Percy yell in front of me, while I feel a hand gently on my head and back; it’s presumably Kit’s hands. I look up at them. They look blurry, sounding distant and strange. I think this must be a relapse from last night’s power usage. I don’t regularly use it as massively as that, so it isn’t like I’m strong enough for it. I slowly sit up, dazed and shocked, and look around.

“Tal, what happened?!” Kit asks worriedly.

I only half hear him and answer as if I'm not in control of my own lips. “I, I-I think it was a relaps-s-se from last night-t,” I stutter and stumble shakily, trying to snap back to the world. But it's so comfortable and you aren't part of the world…

 _NO. SNAP OUT OF IT_.

That seems to jog Percy’s memory. “Thalia, what did you actually do to Drew? Do you have a power? And how were you controlling that fire?”

I take a deep breath and the world and my head clear a little. I turn to the matter at hand. He’s my brother, I guess he kinda deserves to know. “Yes… I do have a power. Bodily liquids. Tears, mainly. I was choking her from the inside.” I pause. “The fire was actually quite simple for me. I connected myself to it. It fuels off emotion and I can sense people’s auras when I focus. Kinda an empath. I figured if I let off a strong enough aura directly linked to it, my full emotion would have control over it. Turns out it did. But I don’t think many people would be able to do it though,” I add on as an afterthought.

Percy stares at me. “And you had a power all along…….” he murmurs. I roll my eyes and grit my teeth. Is that all he cares about? “Thalia, why didn’t you tell us?”

I look him dead on in the eye and study him for a bit. As far as I can see, he’s bewildered, slightly stunned and confused, and yet somehow happy. Maybe even slightly hurt that I didn’t tell him. I decide what I’m going to do and take a deep breath. “I didn’t want to be teased for it.”

"Wait, so you didn't want to be teased for the fact you have the ability to kill someone? That's just damn scary. I don't think they'd tease you for that."

"Well..." I begin, trying to remain calm. Trying being the key word. "It's just you and Frank have big powers, rejuvenating in water, controlling water and navigating the sea, controlling currents and all sorts of stuff, and then changing into animals and things whereas all I can do is control tears. I can make people double over and cry, but I can't control the ocean. Who wouldn't be teased about that when they have the ultimate son of Poseidon to live up to?! Whatever I do, you'll be better; you saved the world at least four times, gave up immortality, nobly saved so many demigods and united the camps. What have I done? Been bullied, been outgoing and then shut down, cared and been hurt, misunderstood, slaughtered by standards. I've got depression, ok?!"

By the time I've finished, I'm yelling in his face. He's looking so shocked it's ridiculous. "I... I'm sorry... I, I didn't know..."

"I did." Kit says it quietly but determinedly. "I knew."

Percy turns around to him. "So you knew about all this? And didn't tell anyone? How?"

"I told him.”

"And I would never lose her trust! I don't have a big mouth."

"I can trust him, unlike others," I say, glancing sideways at Percy. "I can trust him not to judge me, I can trust him with anything, my secrets, my tears, my life. He knows it all.”

Percy looks at us from one to the other. "Are you sure you two aren't da-?"

“Is that all you care about?! My power and if I'm dating him?! My gosh, how many people do I have to tell?!" I fume. "No, we aren't dating!"

Kit joins me in glaring and yelling. Percy puts up his hands and takes a few paces backwards. "Ok, ok... Sorry... Can you come back to camp now Tal?" he asks, plainly expecting the answer to be yes. I shrink away from Percy with a hiss.

"Why should I?" I mutter.

Percy sighs. "Look, Chiron's worried, so are Annabeth, Ace, Aleisha and even Will and Nico. And Tyson is beside himself. Please," he looks at me, his green eyes full of concern, "Tal, please come back."

"Thalia," Kit whispers behind me, so Percy can't hear. "I'll make sure no one hurts you. Ever."

I pause, my teeth gritted, my heart squeezing in on itself and breaking into pieces. I glare at Percy. "Fine. Only you should expect that tears will come easier to you," I spit viciously at him, and make a slight upward jerk of the hand. His body tenses and Kit holds my arm gently to stop me from doing anything worse. It would feel worse than anything to shake it off right now. Percy shudders slightly and then returns to his regular state. Well, his body took the curse. Kit looks at me warningly. I bow my head in submission and trudge forwards slowly, dragging my feet, with my lips pressed together.


	3. Chapter 3

When we come back to the campgrounds, there are a lot of mixed emotions. Most people seem kinda relieved, but they all seem to avoid me. Not that I blame them. Aleisha, Tyson and Annabeth ran over and hugged me as soon as Percy, Kit and I came out of the forest. There were tears and sobs and stories, and Ace was screeching loudly in the background. I didn't like it. I know they 'love' me, but I didn't want all this fuss. I felt guilty and terrible.

But... Lessons had to come as they always do. Awful things. First up, forges, then archery. I generally have forges with Kit and today, thank the gods, is no exception. Archery is a different matter. I know that now, however, it's almost breakfast time, considering hardly anyone is out yet but there's the flurrying sounds of activity from the cabins. Percy and I head over to Poseidon's cabin while Kit stumbles over to the Ares group. I grab my clothes and duck into the small bathroom in the cabin. The shower water feels warm and soothing, flowing gently down my back. I wish I could control this water... I sigh. That will never happen. I quickly get dressed as I hear the conch for breakfast and rake a brush through my tangled, wet hair. Ugh. I look disgusting when I glance in the mirror. I look like Medusa having a bad hair day. I quickly find out I'm exhausted. Even getting up the hill was an effort. I feel a lot of unease as I sit down, heck, even as I enter the pavilion I can feel the tension. I take my place quietly and eat very little.

"Thalia... Look, I'm sorry I had to yell for Percy. You needed to come back though."

"Kit, it... It's fine. I couldn't have stayed there forever, unfortunately," I say slightly bitterly. "But I don't have anything against you." We're talking a little edgily heading up to the forges. People can hear us and I'm half asleep as it is. We stop talking as we enter the large building that holds stockpiles of metal, fire, loud noise and workbenches. I walk over to pick up my unfinished sword; I'll need to get that done today if I'm to stay ahead of assessment and whatnot. "I have to sharpen it, polish it, engrave it, and give it a good handle and make sure it's well weighted and..." I trail off, realising I was muttering aloud to myself. Oops. I continue to walk over to the swords, trying not to collapse on my feet. I stumble slightly, almost faceplanting on the rack of unfinished swords for our class when familiar hands catch hold of me. My heart beats uncomfortably fast and hard, slamming against my ribcage. Dammit, why does he always do that to me? I right myself, pick up my sword and turn to see Kit. As I figured. Will these feelings ever not hurt me?

By lunch, I've practically decided to give up on trying in class as I've almost fallen asleep at least six times already, not including nearly slicing my face off with a row of blunt blades. My aim in archery was so far out, it wasn't funny. And I can't even tell you what we were taught in Latin today. I get the feeling that even in my elective of drama (why we need drama to fight monsters, I don't know) I'm going to only be half awake. Oh well. At least Kit can prod me awake. Kit. Oh gods... Last drama lesson we paired up for a play... I can't even remember what it was about, what with everything else going on... But either way... How on earth is my heart going to cope with this? I... I don't know... I'm getting sick in the stomach. And it's lunch. Perfect.

After a lovely lesson of monster fighting in which I was slumped on the desk in the back of the classroom, flat out exhausted, drama has come. Oh crap. I get some of my energy miraculously restored to me, and a little more as Kit comes up next to me. "Hey Tal, how are you going?"

"Tired... And confused..." I groan.

He looks at me curiously. "Confused about what?"

I glance quickly to the side. "I'll, I'll tell you this afternoon..."

"But that's cabin clean up, isn't it?" "No, we had tha-... Oh, wait, yeah. It is." I sigh. "Never mind then."

He stops walking a few paces away from the hall we do drama in. "Tal, there's something wrong. Are you ok? Can you tell me about it?"

"I- I," I stammer, fumbling for words. "I'll tell you later. W-when I can." I keep walking into the hall.

Just my stupid heart's luck; the play a) hadn't been chosen, so I shouldn't have remembered it anyway, and b) for Kit and I... We’ve been given a script where I'm secretly in love with him and vice versa, but we both have a partner. Ouch. That stings. Maybe because of my morals and past hurt from others not being loyal, maybe because we have to use all sorts of signs that we're 'in love' without actually saying it and being completely oblivious to the other person. When we're let go to rehearse, we awkwardly walk off to the corner of the room and start discussing body language. "Girls fiddle with their hair soo much, or their neck," I lightly say, trying desperately hard not to tuck those few strands of hair behind my ear or obsessively fix my hair from the absolute mess it's still in.

"Mm, yeah. If you've ever seen Drew do it, there's a high chance it's that sort of body language," he says with a chuckle. Damn, how is he so easy with this? My heart is pounding and thudding horridly against my ribcage.

I rapidly click my fingers; I just thought of something! And... Lost it, there's something on the tip of my tongue... Ah! No, oh, that wasn't it... "Mmrgh, just, gimme a sec, don't mind my muttering," I say, and then promptly start muttering. "So there's hair, neck, eye contact, legs crossing, sitting close, 'accidental' brushing past or contact... I know there's another... Ah!" I say. "Girls often expose their wrists or look over their shoulder when they're interested! There we go."

Kit looks at me, slightly bewildered. "Uh, mind going back and saying those other things again?" He glances at my wrists as I do the same. Oh wow. I quickly cover my wrists, flipping them over. I look back up to his face quickly. He's blushing slightly. I glance away again.

“I was going through a list of things that girls do when they like a guy,” I say, still not maintaining great eye contact. “Girls play with their hair or neck as I said before, they make eye contact or look for a long time or the lack thereof - like, glancing away really quickly, their legs may cross one way and their weight will shift to the person they feel more comfortable with or like, their feet may point in the direction of the person, there's also sitting really closely or “exclusively” as I've heard it called-”

“Some people say we sit exclusively,” Kit mumbles quietly.

“Well…” He's thrown me off. My heart is thudding and clunking irregularly again. “Friends do that too, though. There's a difference between couples sitting and friends and love interests. Anyway, so sitting really close, and some girls will actually slap you. Like, it's an excuse to touch the person they like.” He looks at me as though I'm making no sense. I sigh. “Ok, so a girl will find any way possible to make contact with the person she likes. So she might gently hit them if something is funny, or if they're being silly.”

“Yeah…… I still don't get it…… Sorry....”

I smirk slightly and roll my eyes. “Well, if you've done something stupid-”

“Which isn't unusual.”

I snort. “Yeah, I know. But something a girl might do is hit you gently on the shoulder.” I proceed to do so, giggling slightly, saying ‘you're so silly’ and looking at his face and then glancing away blushing. “See?” I say, “dropping” the act.

“Right… And then the exposed wrists." I shift uneasily, but he doesn't seem to notice. "Ok. Well, let's have a look through the script then, ok?” I find it hard to look Kit in the eye all throughout the reading and basic stepping through. And I don't like this tension. It's awful and eerie. The end of drama marks the end of lessons though, so when the conch blows, we head back down to our cabins to clean up.

~

“Thalia. How in Hades do you make so much mess in this room?!”

I shrug. “Dunno. It's just how I live. I'll clean it all up if you and Tyson can make stuff look pretty.”

Percy sighs and shakes his head in defeat. “Whatever, but you'll have to fix it all up. Pretty isn't my thing.” I roll my eyes and start to put my clothes away. It's calming, comforting even. Mind numbing. Pick up the shirt, fold it, put it in the shirt draw where that type of shirt goes. Repeat. Pick up that pair of shorts. Fold them. Put them in the pants draw where the shorts go. Pick up the socks, throw them in the wash along with practically all the underwear I own. Pencil shavings? No. Pick each one up and put it in the bin. A necklace on the floor? Put it in the draw where it belongs when I don't wear it. Drawing books and pencils? Artistically placed on top of my draws. Bed covers? Pulled up and folded back neatly. Swords and knives? Neatly stacked with the other assault weapons in the room. A chip packet? Bin. Wrappers, bin. Random metal scraps, Tyson’s draws. I scan the room. Pristine. Percy’s work… Not so much. I rearrange the entire display and then step back to admire my work. Do I have time to check my DS? I don't think so. I'll leave it until after inspection. My fingers itch to hold it and talk to Kit. Cabin inspectors come around and are mildly impressed, as they always are, and leave us with an 8. As soon as they leave, I chuck my shoes off and climb into bed, pulling my DS out from under my pillow as Percy leaves to talk to Annabeth. Tyson wouldn't really care if he saw me. Besides, he leaves quickly anyway. Ella comes fluttering down and starts discussing a new book she just finished in an extremely excited tone. I'm left alone without a second glance or thought. I turn the DS on. As I expected. He's on already, just waiting.

‘Hey.’ I type.

‘Hey what's up?’

‘Not much. You?’ I'm not bringing up the subject of drama unless he does. Which he probably won't anyway.

‘Meh nothing much. You ok?’

I huff. ‘Am I ever ok?’ I send back tersely.

‘Good point. What's wrong?’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘You said something was wrong. What is it?’ He's persistent, I'll give him that.

‘Nothing you can fix,’ I respond bitterly.

He pauses for a moment. Then… ‘Do you want to talk to me in person?’

‘Whatever, if you want to. I don't care.’ I try to pass off as light, but my heart is screaming for him to come.

‘I don't mind’

‘Ugh, will you ever decide something for once in your life?!’ If I had been talking, I would have snapped at him. Quite viciously.

‘I'm sorry…… I just can't make decisions….’

‘Well make one. Do you even want to see me?’

‘Yes….’

I roll my eyes and glare at the screen. ‘Well make a decision then.’

‘Were are you?’

‘In my cabin.’

‘Alone?’

‘Mmhm.’

‘Are you ok with going out into the forest?’

‘Whatever.’ My heart flushes with a slight joy before I squash it.

‘Five minutes?’

‘Sure.’ Oh gods, do I have time to brush my hair? Do I want to? Why do I even care? He's my friend. I'm not going to ruin another friendship by trying to go further. Not this time. I decidedly don't brush my hair. I grab my knife and sword and head out into the forest.

~

“Tal, are you ok?” My heart jumps before I can tell it not to. Ugh, why?!

“Yeah, no. That's why I'm here,” I mutter bitterly.

“What's wrong?” I look into his eyes. Oh my gods…. They're so worried and deep with the sun reflecting off them through the trees and they turn golden brown the longer I look into them and there's so much concern and love and… Oh crud, I'm leaning forwards. I right myself. “Thalia?”

“I… I-I don't know….” I breathe in a whisper. “I'm just so confused and tired.” I flop to the ground.

He sits down beside me. “You said you were confused about something earlier. What's up Tal? I want to help.”

I feel like crying. I rub my eye slightly and remove my need to. “Kit… Uh…. Well… You know how I was in that… Relationship with Rob until he said… Told me, uh, til he said he didn't want to keep going?”

Kit tenses up with a small frown on his face. His eyebrows crease in- NO. Stop it. “Yeah? What about him?” he asks, an edge of disgust in his voice.

“It, uh…. I mean… I… I think… It hurt me. A lot.”

“I know. And why are you bringing that up now?” Oh gods, I'm going to have to admit it.

“I think… I think I like you…. But I'm freaking terrified!! Oh gods I'm so afraid….. I don't want to lose you…….” I break off and turn away from him, trembling. I look back over my shoulder slightly and he's frozen still. “I shouldn't have said that…” I mutter. “I'll go.” I stand up slowly and painfully and start trudging off miserably. I haven't taken 10 steps before he grabs me.

“Wait, what?”

I shrink away from him. “No, don't… I… I can't lose you… Not as well… But…” I slide my hand across my face. A tear had already escaped my eye. It slides down my cheek, my lips trembling, avoiding his eyes and shrinking into myself.

“Hey, Thalia… It's ok. I'm here. I… I really do like you a lot. Like, more than a friend. But whatever you're comfortable with, I'm happy.” He slides an arm around my shoulders and as I turn into his chest, he pulls me into a hug. “I… I love you…” he whispers, possibly thinking I can't hear him.

And as I try not to cry into his chest, I hear my own voice croak out softly, “Me too…”

He kisses the top of my head - I jolt and shrink back - but then he pulls away. “We both need to get back.”

“Why?” I whisper.

“What will Clarisse think if I'm late back? I need to go.”

“Ok…” I mutter, keeping back tears. “I'll be out here.”

“You have a weapon?” He seems surprised.

“Always do,” I say sullenly. “Well… Goodbye Thalia.”

And with that, he turns around and walks off. I throw my knife into the nearest tree and fall down, tears silently coursing their way down my cheeks. Why does he do this to me?! I can't let him get to me… I can't… I've been hurt too many times before. I curse Aphrodite under my breath as I pull my knife out from the wood. I force my mind to go blank all through the next few hours, even as I go to sleep. I'm exhausted. I drift into the peaceful deathlike feeling of sleep, finally untroubled.

~

“How long has she been asleep? She's slept through everything…”

“Yeah, surprising isn't it? I think she's still recovering from the power.” I still have my eyes closed and try to catch a last lingering feeling of sleep. But eventually my curiosity at those words win over me. The voices sound familiar and they said some strange things. I prise an eyelid open and see that it's still dark. I blink rapidly into my pillow and slowly turn my head to see Percy and Kit standing at my bedside. Kit notices I'm awake and they both run to me.

“What time is it?” I ask groggily.

Kit checks his watch. “Uh,10 in the evening.”

I groan. “Ugh, can't I get a decent nights’ sleep for a change?”

“Thalia…” Kit murmurs softly.

“What?” I ask, muttering sleepily, turning to look at his face. He looks pale, not usual for him. He looks worried. Percy stands to the side watching me. He doesn't look very worried.

“You've been out for more than 24 hours….” he murmurs.

“Wait, wha-?” I look at him, confused and still tired.

Percy steps forward. “Nothing to worry about, I was exhausted when I first used a lot of my powers.”

Kit stands to the side, still looking quite concerned. I groan. Why does it have to hurt so much? “Whatever.” Percy steps forward a little more. It's as he steps a little further into the dim glow of moonlight that I see his face is covered in dried tears. That's odd. Oh… That's right… I cursed him. Suddenly everything about reality comes back, and I roll over, facing my back towards them and removing tears from my eyes. “Shouldn't you two be in bed?” I ask, slightly more sharply than I meant to.

“Tal, are you o-”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” I cut Percy off mid-sentence.

“Ok, ok,” he says. “Good night Tal. Kit, I'll head into the showers, you say good night and get to bed, ok?”

“Ok.” I hear Percy’s footsteps fade. I only then become aware of Tyson’s snoring. Ugh. At least I'm used to it now. Kit comes over.

“Tal, what's wrong?” he asks, worried.

“Life,” I mumble.

“Well… Uh, good night I guess? Can… Uh... Can I kiss your cheek?” he asks tentatively and scared. I shrug and he quietly places a gentle kiss on my cheek and then scurries off. I silently start to cry.

“Why?! Why?!?” my brain screams.

“Oh for goodness sake, just admit it. You love him!” another part yells and screams back.

“I can't! Not now… Oh gods not now……” the first part moans back to the other. “Not when I hurt so much… Not when I could plummet further downwards.” I reach for the small knife at my bedside and hold it in my hand. It comforts me a little and I slip back to sleep. My dreams are strange and I don't know what to think. They intermingle and make no sense, Aphrodite, then Kit, then blood, then I wake up, feeling pain. I open my eyes and check my watch for the time, thinking it must be early morning. 4:30. Not so bad. But why did I wake up? I sit up slowly and then realise that I still hold a knife in my hand. And it's covered in blood. So is my pillow. I put the knife down, and reach a hand tentatively to my cheek. It stings. I need to look at this. I head into the small bathroom and shut the door, flicking the dim light on. My cheek is covered in blood. There's a fresh cut directly beneath my right eye. I'm lucky I didn't take out my eye. I creep back out into the cabin again, grabbing a box of tissues and creeping back into the bathroom. I start to clean myself up, sponging at the cut and trying to clot the blood. Eventually it stops, and I tasted quite a lot of it as it was trickling down my face. I like the taste of blood. It's starting to hurt quite a lot now. I still need to clean it and at the very least bandage it somehow. Salt is good for sterilising and so I draw the tears out of my body, floating them in the air. I slowly start to draw them to my cut. It stings and I cry out in pain. I don't know what to bandage it with. Maybe ambrosia will help? I have a small amount in the cabin. I take it as though it's medicine and I watch as it closes up. But the scar still stays. I take a little more. It doesn't fade. I can't risk any more. But why won't the scar fade? It does for every other wound. Then I gaze down at my wrist. It didn't fade either. I guess there's a different intent there and it won't work for these.

 


End file.
